Ship Your Pants

I just suffered through the worst episode of shitting myself in years, if not my entire lifetime.

I went to breakfast with Mark and I felt an ever so slight urge to visit the bathroom before we left Ferguson's. But I ignored it. Dumbass! I had two errands I wanted to run and I thought I was okay. Stupid, stupid Man!!!

I drove to a local ski shop and bought some all purpose ski wax. Then I went to Staples to get some file folders so I can be more organized.

I collected my pack of file folders and felt a little burp in the butt region as I walked to the check out.

I made it to the truck and realized I was in distress. I drove home as quick as I could and felt a couple more burps that had me crowning.

The thing I hate most about this is that the closer you get to the toilet, the less sphincter control you have.

As I put the key in the door, I lost all control.

The bathroom was a mess. The sink, the bathtub and the shower were disaster areas. I managed to get undressed and get into the shower. I got my pants and my undies rinsed out enough to be acceptable to the washer.

What a nightmare!