Colonoscopy Preparation

I have one week to prepare for a Colonoscopy. It's next Wednesday, the Eighth. I have to change my diet to low fiber. Basically, no nuts, seeds or fatty meats. There's more it than that but that's what I took away from the instructions.

Of course, I'll have the great joy of drinking the prep solution and then spending the day in the bathroom.

Finally getting this appointment has been a journey. I got a notice last summer that it was time to get the colonoscopy. It had been a few years. I called Spokane Digestive in August and they told me I was ready for one until November.

I called Spokane Digestive in November and they said to call back after the first of the year.

I called Spokane Digestive after the first of the year and they said that the Doctor had reviewed my information and because of my heart condition and all the accompanied factors, he wanted to do my colonoscopy in a surgical setting rather than an office setting. 

That means I went on a waiting list in which I was 43rd in line.

While golfing last Thursday, I got a call just at the end of the round from Spokane Digestive. They said there was an opening on the Eighth of May. Known to some as Outdoor Intercourse Day, I now know it as Surgical Up the Ass Day.

I'm very excited!

April BP

 

Update on Stan

 It's been a while. What the hell is new with me.

I'm typing with an injured index finger. I was helping out prior to Easter Sunday, cutting potatoes with a mandolin. Not the instrument, but rather the instrument of mutilation. It's a slicer that cuts all matter of fruits and vegetables. As stated, I was cutting potatoes when my finger got too close to the cutting surface and I nicked the tip of my index finger. It bled a lot and now it is tender five days later as it slowly heals.

The ski season appears to be over. Mt Spokane closes this Sunday, April 7th, and I don't think I'm going to make it up again. I only skied five times this season, perhaps my worst ever. However, the winter was also the worst ever. It has been a very low snow year.

I need to make a new video about my voice change. I think I'm back to normal because I stopped using this prescription inhaler called Trelogy. It was literally making my voice change to an old man. Well, older man. So I stopped using it and I think my voice returned to its former greatness. I probably need to notify my doctor. 

We have just finished Lent which means I'm drinking beer again. I have just kegged a batch of home brewed honey ale which I shall be drinking much of, and sharing as well.

Finally, I don't think I have mentioned here that I have another website dedicated to cartoons. It is www.adventuresofretiredguy.com and it features cartoons I draw every day concerning being a retired guy. It's like they say in all the writing seminars, "Write what you know!"

March BP

 

The Saga of the Sliver

Back on March 3rd, Susan wanted to change the banners we have at church from the winter theme to the spring theme. We use this large wooden pole with a hook on it to lift the banners up to the wall hook about twenty feet up on the wall.

After I got the second banner hung, I let the pole slide down through my handle and caught a sliver in my right hand ring finger. There was a little tip sticking out and I did my best to grab it and pull it out. It broke off, leaving a lot of sliver still in my finger.

Throughout the week, I tried in vain to dig it out using a variety of non surgical instruments that I had on hand. Pins, tweezers, xacto knives, all were useless.

Last Friday, I finally made my way to Providence Express Care. I saw a Physician’s Assistant named Ashley. She shot me up with Lidocaine  and dug around in my finger but never really found anything. And believe me, she looked. I watched as she put those tweezers deep in the wound.

She sent me for an X-ray to see if it showed anything. I was later informed that an X-ray won’t show anything organic, so that was a waste.

I finally called my Doctor because it was suggested I need an ultrasound. An ultrasound would show an organic foreign body but I needed a referral from my doctor to get one.

So I trundled into my doctors office on Tuesday and saw another P.A. He wanted to refer me to a hand doctor and then see if they would order the ultrasound. I would hear back from him on Thursday or Friday.

Last night, I removed the bandaid to squeeze out the puss and put on a clean dressing. When I squeezed, I suddenly noticed a sliver sticking out of my wound. All the way out. I just flicked it off.

They all said the body would eventually expel it and the body finally did. Above is a picture of the little wood chip with a postage stamp for size reference.

The wound on my finger is still tender but I think I have been cured by my own self. Stan, heal thyself!

February BP

 

Voice Change Baseline